The Interview

Having pitched tent quite efficaciously back in my hometown,the Damocles's sword of employment loomed large upon me now.A boy can only remain a boy for so long,aunty said.Then he has to start earning bhai!He must have his own place to stay,his own stove to cook,his own tie to fool around in front of a mirror stone drunk,god forbid,beta.These were her words of wisdom as i tied up my shoelaces surreptitiously.Here,eat this,handing over a mottled cuboid that was called a sweet;prasad from the temple.Ramu's wife has no more deliriums.It finally turned out to be a rat's tail that was in the sabzi she was eating.Poor fellow wasted money on two allopathic doctors,one homeopathic physician,two purohits and one astrologer!At least he showed the basic courtesy of getting some prasad on her recovery...anyway you go safely.
The buses in this city are the only Government Transport Services making any profit in this country.I rued over this,waiting a half hour for the right one.Heck,when they come,they come in threes..maybe just to appease our irritation,I thought.One for Mayo Hall please,i said.The conductor looked like he'd gotten one whipping too many from his wife the previous day and wanted to take out his modest anger on us.No change,he said angrily.Collect later.He made a weird glyph behind the ticket,maybe a lewd,symbolic curse on his wife, and handed it over.I sat down and ruminated.It was a long way.I like travelling.The sheer purposefulness of transport is mesmerising.You just have to sit and watch.Of course ,there are others who prefer shit dropping into their ears through FM while moving about.But the sounds of reality are often enough,quite entertaining. I got down at MH and proceeded to the offices of one Spectrum IPL;a 5 storied building in an area that looked like the dumping grounds for the state's under qualified beach-sand.Dust,dust everywhere.Thankfully not inside the premises.The "front office executive" conversed lightly in the native language and after satisfying her,she allowed me into a room that would serve to be my intellectual garrote for the next hour or so.The interviewer was a slender,elderly man.Holding his glasses like a lorgnette at my resume,he proceeded to make his monthly income worthwhile and pounded me,one grotesque question after the other.I have attended interviews far demeaning in human spirit and so,was able to passably prove my worth as an engineer.Wrapping it up,he looked pitifully and applied soothing balm,in the form of peachy questions;for e.g where was i born(!),did my dad NOT want me to study further,had my mom cooked 21 dishes for this year's Ganesha Habba,things like that.
The receptionist helped me limp back to the lobby;allowing me a jolly good pitstop,mineral water et al.In about 15 minutes,another honcho invited me to a room with what looked like a serious ass-chewing intention.The epilogue,fortunately,turned out different.A request,to give him an account of how i had spent these 2 years without a job, saw me tuning my lying skills to a spiritually new high.Interspersing truth and fiction is a most refreshing activity.I recommend it to anybody who likes talking but doesnt know how.
Eventually,the offer letter came out.I took my old 'handsome-hunk of yester-years' photo and gummed it on.Followed by relieved strokes of signature.
Hey momma,look who got himself a job today!